LOST SON?
A Child's Journey of Hope, Search, Discovery and Healing

BIRTH MOTHER'S STORY


THE MEETING

My birth Mother and I continued to write and talk on the phone for a few months. Finally my partner and I decided it was time for us to meet.

I invited her from Pontiac, Michigan (only forty-five miles from where she lived when I was born) for an ALL EXPENSE paid trip to New York City, knowing she would not be able to afford the trip herself. I knew the meeting would be difficult for both of us, so I arranged a suite for her at a nearby hotel. This way, we both could spend some time alone to collect our thoughts and feelings. She accepted the invitation.

May 24, 1986...a day never to be forgotten by me. Newark International Airport...the day has arrived...36 years, 3 months and 17 days after I was born...I would meet the woman who gave me life. To say I was tense or nervous would be putting it mildly. I arrived at the airport hours before the flight was due to arrive.

I brought with me 36 long stem RED ROSES, one for each year of life I had thus far been blessed with.

Should I call her mother? Should I hug her? What should I do? Let nature takes its course was the only answer that came back to me.

The plane taxis to the gate...there is no turning back now. There she was (I had an old photo of her that she had sent) walking down the ramp. We shake hands, then hug...I call her ROBERTA; not mother.

After getting her settled in her suite, we strolled down Fifth Avenue for a while. I took her to lunch and Central Park. As the day began turning to evening we went back to her hotel suite.It was time to hear the answer to the question that had yet to be asked or answered...WHY?


My mother in 1936 at age 6


HER STORY


My father was her next door neighbor. He had fought in World War II as a MERCHANT MARINE and had returned to live with his folks. They had a date.....I was conceived on that date! My father wanted nothing more to do with her. He had gotten what he was after.

My grandfather, being a strict Polish Roman Catholic, would not allow her to remain in the house and sent her off to a home for unwed mothers (SARAH FISHER HOME) and told her "not to bring that bastard child home with her." She had two choices, either give birth and having no place to go...give me up for adoption and return home or have a back alley abortion.

She gave birth in the early hours of February 7, 1950, and saw me only briefly before they took me away. She went home to go on with her life, but was never able to forget the baby she left behind, and hoped that one day I might look for her.

She hated her father for what he had forced her to do and even though I learned he had been dead 15 years, the remaining hatred was still obvious.

She didn't realize that I was never adopted, but rather moved to various foster homes until eventually being sent to Boys Town. She thought I may have gone to Vietnam and been killed.

We both shed many tears that evening in her suite. I told her she made the only choice she could have made and was thankful she had not chosen abortion...for selfish reasons of course! We talked, cried, talked some more that first day deep into the night...we had over 36 years to relive!




Picture taken by me the first day we met in her hotel suite.


My Mother was born to John Robert Adams and Sarah Wray Adams on November 30, 1930, in Elmira, New York. She was the first of three daughters born to my maternal grandparents. In the height of the depression my grandmother abandoned my grandfather, leaving him to raise three young girls on his own. Being so young at the time, my Mother had no memories of her Mother; not even her name. She never had a reason to request her birth certificate and would see her Mother's name for the first time in her life when I presented it to her.

Her Father struggled to make ends meet for a short while then decided to return to Michigan. He did not however, return to his roots in Bay City, Michigan, but then made his home Detroit, Michigan.

Work was difficult for him to find and soon he realized he could not care for his daughters. He placed them in an orphanage so they would be provided for. They remained there until he married Alice in 1939. He and Alice did not have children together. She brought one son into the marriage, and the three girls soon joined them at home.

My Mother never finished high school. At sixteen she went to work as a waitress at the downtown Hudson Department Store Restaurant.

After giving birth to me in 1950, she moved out of her family's home to try and make it on her own. She continued working as a waitress. To supplement her income, she did a photo shoot once in the nude. She never knew I was aware of this and had seen pictures of her.

In 1953, she married Robert Moore and moved to Florida. According to my Mother it was not a good marriage and Robert was extremely abusive. My half-brother and a half-sister were born and also as a result of a final abuse; rape by her husband, my last half-sister was born. Mother left her husband and returned to Michigan to raise her two young children on her own. She divorced her husband and never remarried.

She had worked all her life either as a waitress or at one of the automobile plants in the Detroit area. Sometimes, she worked both to make ends meet.




Southport Pier, Manhattan, May 25, 1986
Only picture of my Mother & me together

Our relationship last only a short time as it was found we were totally incompatible.


Only picture taken of my Mother by me in 1986


I do not hate my Birth Mother. I in matter of fact remember her in prayer. I pray that she has found the peace that she was unable or unwilling to obtain. I also still thank her for giving me the opportunity of life.

I FORGIVE YOU!



CLICK BELOW TO PROCEED

CHAPTERS:


EARLY YEARS


MOM & DAD MONSHOR


FOSTER HOME #11


BOYSTOWN GRADE SCHOOL


BOYS TOWN HIGH SCHOOL


JIM ACKLIN: DEBATE PARTNER


COLLEGE & ACCEPTANCE


MATT: LIFE PARTNER


NEW YORK, NEW YORK


SEARCH & DISCOVERY


FIRST LETTER TO BIRTH MOTHER


BIRTH MOTHER'S STORY


FINAL LETTER TO BIRTH MOTHER


BIRTH FATHER'S STORY


FIRST CHRISTMAS


A HOLIDAY SEASON TO REMEMBER


REMEMBERING 1ST COUSIN DOROTHY


REUNION WITH THE MONSHOR FAMILY AFTER 45 YEARS


WHY DID I SEARCH


RETURN HOME TO BOYS TOWN


BOYS TOWN TALES OF YESTERYEAR


MEMORIES OF A LIFETIME


FRIENDS LOST TO AIDS


A FEW LESSONS OF LIFE


EPILOGUE


A SEARCHER'S GUIDE



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