LOST SON?
A Child's Journey of Hope, Search, Discovery and Healing



A FEW LESSONS FROM LIFE


One cannot help but learn some valuable lessons going through life.

I have had the opportunity to learn several. They have become my source of strength in times of need or self doubt.

I would like to share but three of them with you in this chapter. I hope they will be of help to you as they have been to me.



Lesson ONE:
Establish, maintain and cherish FRIENDSHIPS!



ORCHIDS and FRIENDSHIP: what do they have in common? Let's start with the ORCHID. Orchids are one of the most beautiful flowers on earth. They are fragrant and fragile, yet objects of beauty. Orchids need special of care when watering, feeding or adding grow lights. They need special nurturing. It sometimes can take years for a bloom to develop and open to its full beauty. The steps you take can either allow the plant to grow to full beauty or die a quick death....the final results depend strictly on YOU!
FRIENDSHIP: one of the most prized assets a person can posses. It is fragile yet a thing of beauty. It requires special nurturing. It can sometimes take year to bloom and fully develop to it's full beauty. The steps we take can allow it to grow to it's fullest potential or to quickly wither and die....the final results depend strictly on YOU!

Have you recognized the similarities between ORCHIDS and FRIENDSHIP? Each are things fragile yet full of beauty when we take the steps necessary to allow them to develop and bloom into all their glory. Each requires our time, attention and care. Just as the ORCHID requires water, food and even special grown lights, so too does FRIENDSHIP require needs to be met. We cannot take for granted that just because we planted the seed in either case that they will then develop and bloom on their own....if we think they can, we are in for a rude awakening when we see they have withered and died.

Whereas ORCHIDS need water and food, FRIENDSHIPS need YOU! We need to take the time to let our friends know that we care. We need to be willing to share their in bad times as well as the good times. You can never know how a quick smile, phone call or even an e mail could make the difference for them to having a good day or a bad day. Friendships should never be taken for granted as one never knows when that friend may be taken from us. Just as an ORCHID can be priceless to the gardener who cultivated them so to are FRIENDSHIPS PRICELSS. Money can buy all kinds of things in this world....but I have never known it to be able to bring a "true" friend into one's life!

Do YOU have a friend that you have neglected lately? Are some of your FRIENDSHIPS being allowed to wither on the vine and die? Today would be a good day to change course...to water, feed and nurture those FRIENDSHIPS. Take a moment to drop a letter or e mail if they live distant from you, better yet, pick up the phone and tell them you called "just because you care". Let them know you care about what is happening to them, you are there for them in their time of need and that you consider their FRIENDSHIP with you priceless and your most valuable asset. Watch the FRIENDSHIP begin to develop and bloom anew once again!

I have been blessed over the years with many true friends. They have seen me thru many difficult times as well as enjoyed many times together. Many of my friends have passed away due to the AIDS crisis. I miss each of them greatly and they will never be forgotten as they will always be a part of my life.

Fortunately I have developed a new small circle of friends in recent years and I thank God for each of them. I hope I have been a friend to them as much as they have been a friend to me.

During the years of being on the Internet I have developed a new circle of friends. A few I have personally met while most I will probably never meet.......there FRIENDSHIP is of no less value to me......I count them each amongst my "true" and "priceless" friends.

May YOU have a bouquet of FRIENDS that have the fullness and beauty of ORCHIDS!


LESSON TWO:
GIFTS for ALL Seasons!




When we think of gift giving we usually think of Birthdays or Christmas. We may look and shop for days trying to determine what the best gift is that our money can buy.

However, there is a gift we can give that would cost us no money but would be priceless to the one receiving it.....it is the gift of SELF.

We need not limit ourselves to presenting OURSELF as gifts to just Birthdays or Christmas but can present OUR gift 365 days a year and make ourselves truely GIFTS for ALL SEASONS!

Here are 10 ways one can give of themselves to those you love, family, friends, neighbors, coworkers or the stranger in need. Think of these the next time you think you need to buy a gift.

If everybody gave this way...what a wonderful world this would be........

1. Your Time. How many of us are too busy with our own lives to give of our time to others? Being busy is an excuse and a reason not to go out of your way. People need you and love you. They want to see you. Let them in. Let them have time with you. Spending time with someone is priceless!

2. Your Support. How many of us really support the people in our life? What I mean by support is encouragement and reasons to try something new, not 10 different reasons why it won't work. Just because it didn't work for you, doesn't mean it won't work for them. And, just because it didn't work for them in the past, doesn't mean that it won't work this time. There's nothing better than telling a person that they can do whatever they want in this world.

3. Your Acceptance. This may be a toughie for some of us. This means unconditional love and the ability to love someone for who they are and not what you want them to be. It means giving up how you think their life should go, and accepting them for what they want to do with their lives. This is the greatest gift that you can give to the people in your life.

4. Your Attention. How many of us really listen to the people in our life? For everyone who just said "of course I do," then why are the people in your life asking you to repeat what they just said? It's because they know that you didn't hear them. Take a few minutes, stop what you are doing, and focus on the people who you love. Aren't they worth it? And who knows, you may even learn something that you thought you already knew.

5. Your Forgiveness. Forgiving people for past mistakes and hurts is one of the greatest gifts you can give them. After all they are only human. Plus, I'm sure that you haven't been the perfect human being either. Keeping hurt and anger in your life is just an excuse not to get close to people for fear that they will hurt you again. This is a lesson I just recently learned again in regards to my Birth Mother. It took time, but I have forgiven her and it has set me free!

6. Your Patience. How many of us can't even be with the people we love because they are taking too long to tell a story or are taking longer that "you think" to complete a project that you think should take less time to get done. How do you know that there isn't a better way to do something if the people around you always have to do it your way? Having patience with people shows them that they are respected and loved. Isn't this a great gift to give?

7. Your Love. People want to know that they are special in your life and that you care about them. If there are things that are keeping you from loving them such as conversations that you want to have with them, but you're afraid, my advice is to say it. Sometimes you have to take a risk to achieve an open and rewarding relationship. Take the risk and give your love.

8. Your Ideas. Sometimes people want to move forward in their lives but they don't know how. You may know something that they never thought of. And who knows, your ideas may change somebody's life. So go ahead, don't be afraid to share what you know.

9. Your Smile. There is nothing better that entering a room and seeing someone smile when you walk in. Right then and there you know that your presence makes a difference in their life. A smile is easy. You just grin upward. Plus, you burn many more calories than from frowning.

10. A Hug. Human touch warms the heart and keeps us connected. In addition, it doesn't take much effort, it costs nothing, and it makes someone's day. Couldn't you find time in your schedule to hug someone you love today?

The greatest gift YOU can give in ALL seasons to another is..YOU!!



Be the twinkle in someone's eyes..... present YOU as the gift!!




The THIRD and final lesson:

HOLD ON TO ALL THAT IS WITHIN YOU!


Hold on to your FAITH;

it is the source of believing that all things are possible. It is the fiber and strength of a confident soul.

Hold on to your HOPES;

it banishes doubt and enables attitudes to be positive and cheerful.

Hold on to your TRUST;

it is at the core of fruitful relationships that are secure and content.

Hold on to your LOVE;

it is life's greatest gift of all, for it shares, cares, and gives meaning to life.

Hold on to your FAMILY and FRIENDS;

they are the most important people in your life, and they make the world a better place. They are your roots and the beginnings that you grew from; they are the vine that has grown through time to nourish you, help you on your way, and always remain close by.

Hold on to all that YOU ARE;

and all that you have learned, for these things are what make you unique. Don't ignore what you feel and what you believe is right and important. Your heart has a way of speaking louder than your mind.

Hold on to your DREAMS;

achieve them diligently and honestly. Never take the easy way or surrender to deceit. Remember others on your way and take time to care for their needs. The fulfillment of your dreams may one day prove to be the answer to another's dreams. Enjoy the beauty that abounds around you.

Have the courage to see things differently and clearly. Make the world a better place one day at a time, and don't let go of the important things that give meaning to your life.


HOLD ON..

to each of the above...do not let them fall to the ground to be trampled by others..for they are YOURS!!



I hope by sharing the above lessons that I have shared something the readers will find somewhat valuable. They have been for me...and I am still learning!

CLICK BELOW TO PROCEED

CHAPTERS:


EARLY YEARS


MOM & DAD MONSHOR


FOSTER HOME #11


BOYSTOWN GRADE SCHOOL


BOYS TOWN HIGH SCHOOL


JIM ACKLIN: DEBATE PARTNER


COLLEGE & ACCEPTANCE


MATT: LIFE PARTNER


NEW YORK, NEW YORK


SEARCH & DISCOVERY


FIRST LETTER TO BIRTH MOTHER


BIRTH MOTHER'S STORY


FINAL LETTER TO BIRTH MOTHER


BIRTH FATHER'S STORY


FIRST CHRISTMAS


A HOLIDAY SEASON TO REMEMBER


REMEMBERING 1ST COUSIN DOROTHY


REUNION WITH THE MONSHOR FAMILY AFTER 45 YEARS


WHY DID I SEARCH


RETURN HOME TO BOYS TOWN


BOYS TOWN TALES OF YESTERYEAR


MEMORIES OF A LIFETIME


FRIENDS LOST TO AIDS


A FEW LESSONS OF LIFE


EPILOGUE


A SEARCHER'S GUIDE



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