A Voice from the Voiceless & Forgotten
An Anthology of a Foster Care System Survivor


DIARY OF AN UNBORN CHILD




May 3, 1949
I am here today though my mommy doesnít know it; she will feel me real soon.

Late May 1949
I am a boy! I can see now and I even have a tail in which to swim, I love my mommy even if she doesnít know that I am her little boy, I am here!

June 1949
My mommy knows I am here, I can feel the love swelling up in her. I give her a hug with my tiny hands but I donít think she can feel them yet, I wonder if she knows my name is Larry, I will have to tell her that when I see her that is my name you know.

Early July 1949
My mommy will be proud of how fast I am growing, I have allot of space to swim around. I am very warm and secure. She rubs her belly I can feel her warmth. I am going to pick flowers for my mommy when I am out.

Late July 1949
She brought us to a doctor today. She canít hear my heart yet but I hear her tell the doctor that I feel like a little butterfly. I have a little bit of hair; I wonder what color of hair my mommy has?

August 1949
My mommy is sad. I can feel her crying. I give her a big hug cuz my arms are real big now. She cries a lot when I kick her but I am just telling her I love her.

September 1949
My mommy brought us to a doctor again. She heard my heart, she said it sounded like horses racing. I donít know what a horse is but I know that I like the sound of her heart. It makes me feel safe and warm cuz I know that she is there.

Early November 1949
My mommy is crying again. She sings you are my sunshine to me.I like that she makes me sleepy. I try not to put my feet in her ribs but I am so big I canít move around. I wonder why my mommy is always crying, it makes me feel sad.

Mid-November 1949>br> I am so big now I can hiccup. My mommy thinks this is funny and she pats my bottom with her hand. I donít know why but that takes my hiccups away. She eats my favorite food for me. I like peanut butter, I hope she makes peanut butter sandwiches for me when I come out. We can sit and eat peanut butter sandwiches and drink milk. I will sit on her knee after so she can sing me a song. I love my mommies voice.

December 1, 1949
My mommy is sad again. She told me that she my grandma and grandpa donít understand. Why I wonder? They will love me like you do because I am so cute.

January 1, 1950
Mommy started to cry again. When I get out I will tell my mommy that I am a good boy and she doesnít need to cry anymore because I love her, and then I will give her a great big hug with my big arms, and she will be better.

February 1, 1950
We went to see the doctor again, I heard her ask the doctor to see me. I donít know how she could see me cuz I am in here. She saw me though and she giggled and started crying again, boy my mommy cries lots.

February 6, 1950 morning
We went to the doctor yet again and my mommy was talking very loudly. I wonder why she is upset, maybe she wants to see me real bad. She is crying real hard and it is hurting me. I think I should try to come out now cuz maybe I am hurting my mommy and she needs to hug me.

February 6, 1950 evening
My mommy is screaming and my mommyís belly is trying to push me out. I think it is too squishy in here anyway because I am such a big boy.

February 7, 1950 early morning
I am coming out of my mommy now. Wow, its bright out here. I am not going to cry because I donít want my mommy to be sad anymore cuz her big boy is here.

February 7, 1950 mid-morning
This isnít my mommy holding me, she doesnít smell right, I am going to cry now. Mommy, mommy where are you? Come and get me Mommy!

February 7, 1950 late afternoon
Mommy has left me. I canít hear my mommy anywhere. I am cold. I am scared. Why did you leave me mommy?

(Note) My birth mother did not see me before she left the hospital; at 19, unwed and unable to provide she had been convinced it would be better to place me for adoption. She found out when I was 36 and found her I was never adopted but had lived my entire childhood in the foster care system.


Me at 3 days old (February 10, 1950)



CLICK BELOW TO PROCEED

CHAPTERS:


Diary of an Unborn Child


A Child's Horror


A Child Left Behind


Hear the Anguished Cries


How Many Need to Suffer


What's It Like?


Tribute to Foster Parents


What Foster Children Need


Give A Voice


Letter to Politicians


Maybe


Do You Wonder?


Why I Share My Experiences


Search Worth It?


Who Are We?


Why I Continue to Care


Letter to Foster Youth/Alumni


When, When, When


Hefty: Luggage of Fostercare


Pro-Life After Birth


System Reform Overview


CPS Reform


Foster Care Reform


Adoption Reform


Uniform Definitions of Neglect/Abuse


Gay/Lesbian Foster/Adoption?


Thousands Wait Adoption


Epilogue



TO SECTION TWO & THREE OF WEB SITE, NOT PART OF THIS BOOK:


Book: Lost Son



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2005 Lawrence P. Adams

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